Men love to see women wear feminine colors because they like to think of us as flowers that color their black-and-white world. Men wonder why so many women wear black, gray, and brown today. Think of the last time you saw a beautiful flower garden. Did you see any black, gray, or brown flowers? Only if the flowers were dead or dying.
While traveling in India in 2007, I observed Indian women dressed in silky, colorful saris. In a country of bleakness and hardship, these women stood out like beautiful flowers. One young woman wearing a gorgeous orange sari flowing in the wind caught my attention. She smiled as she posed for my photograph, clearly aware of her feminine beauty and grace.
For us as women, color impacts our psyche. Pretty colors lift our mood and brighten our day, while drab colors can affect us more negatively. How can we feel cheerful if we’re wearing such a serious color as gray? On the other hand, when men wear dark colors, such as black, gray, and brown, that represents masculine characteristics like stability, strength, and support. These serious, no-frill colors mean business. For example, a black, gray, or brown trellis provides a contrast to the flowering vine. When men see us wearing lifeless masculine colors, they wonder if we’re trying to hide or become invisible to them.
Sure, men love the little black dress. However, what they love is that it’s little and that it’s a dress! It shows off our legs, shoulders, neck, and back. If we wore a little pink dress or a little red dress, we would stand out even more from the other women in the room. The color men notice first is red.
We all have our best colors depending on our skin tone, hair color, and eye color. Some of us have higher contrast in our coloring—dark hair and lighter skin—while some of us have lower contrast—dark skin and dark hair, or light skin and light hair. Recognizing these nuances, along with having our personal color chart done, can go a long way to helping us select the most appropriate and congruent colors that bring out our true essence and natural beauty.
We want men to be drawn to our lovely faces, particularly our eyes and smiles. Choose colors and jewelry that draw attention to the eyes, lips, or hair. A blue top or scarf goes well with blue eyes (but should never be brighter than the eye color). Pearls bring out the color of our teeth and accent a beautiful smile. Rose pink draws out the hue in the lips.
Avoid wearing colors that clash with your natural skin tone. Skin with a lot of yellow will clash with blue-pinks. Find the right shade of pink that works based on your skin tone. Every woman has her best shades of pink and red, the romance colors.
(Taken from my book “Simply Feminine, Surprising Insights from Men”, Chapter 8, Feminine Looks Men Love.)
Here is a recent comment on this topic by a man:
“When I see a woman dressed in a black, it makes me think quite a few things such as: she is hiding her curves, she has lack of imagination, maybe she’s lazy, or doesn’t want to be different from her girlfriends or the worst is that she thinks she looks good. I find it quite hard to compliment a woman in black. I find myself wanting to ask…”Are you going to a funeral?”
If a woman wears some color, or a dress with some flair men become more intrigued. While a black dress only matches your mascara, wearing some color adorns you. We start to notice how the color matches those sparkling eyes, the highlights in your hair, how your jewelry now stands out, your earrings have more pizazz, that scarf brings out the rosy in your cheeks and best of all, find a color that matches your lipstick that draws our attention to those lips that we are now noticing and dying to kiss.”
—Jay, Executive Management, Orange County, CA
By the way, Color is my specialty. If you’d like to have your most flattering colors hand selected and customized for you, let me know. I have the eye of an artist. Oh, maybe that’s because I am an artist!
Orson Welles said it best…
“If there hadn’t been women we’d still be squatting in a cave eating raw meat, because we made civilization in order to impress our girlfriends.”
Each man has both a toad and a prince residing within him. From his birth, every man has the seeds of greatness planted in him, and our femininity is the water that nourishes those seeds. Nearly every man in history who has accomplished greatness had a loving and supportive woman standing by his side. In fact, it’s very likely he put her above him on a pedestal.
We inspire men to accomplish more than they might otherwise do on their own. Long ago, men hunted for the sake of feeding their families and tribes, not just themselves. For example, do you ever see a bachelor living in a huge home alone? Sure, you might, but it’s rare. A man living on his own will often live a meager Spartan existence, but as soon as he falls in love and has a woman by his side, he will feel energized to be more, do more, and have more. When a man is with a woman who believes in him, he wants to provide the most he can to give her a better life.
A feminine woman can awaken a man’s tender, romantic side. Her femininity arouses the man’s honor and chivalry. Remember, his chivalrous acts are not done out of obligation but out of desire because he adores her and wants to put her on a pedestal. It’s important that we appreciate the little courtesies men show us.
Here’s a sweet story that truly illustrates how our femininity brings out the best in a man’s masculinity:
“When I was seventeen, my parents divorced and I spent the summer with my father in another city where I met Sandy, who was sixteen and my first girlfriend. We spent many days and evenings together eating at restaurants, seeing movies at the drive-in, going to the beach or anywhere else to have fun. We spent countless hours in my father’s car, talking and kissing and hugging and expressing our love for each other until we had to go home. It was heaven. One day at a park, Sandy challenged me to a race. She said she was fast, but I knew I was faster. She took off, and I trailed behind out of her vision. She was pretty fast, I thought—for a girl. As we approached the end of the race, I shifted gears and blew past her, finishing several yards ahead at the finish line. Sandy threw up her hands in exasperation. “What was that?” she asked. I shrugged and laughed. She walked over to me, wrapped her arm around my waist, kissed my neck, and said, “You are super-fast!”
At that moment, I was putty in the hands of her femininity. I had never felt such a surge of masculinity in my life. On our last date of the summer, when I had to return to my mother and school, we pulled up in front of Sandy’s house. I leaned over to kiss her, but she threw her arms around my neck and begged me not to leave. She was sobbing, and though I was startled, I enveloped her in my arms to soothe her emotions. I also wanted to cry but I didn’t because I had to protect her. I said I loved her and assured her I would return for Christmas vacation, but she continued to sob and I kissed the tears from her soft cheeks. That was more than half a century ago, yet I can still almost taste her tears. That was the summer I first felt the incredible allure of femininity, and with that, my masculinity emerged.”
Other than the holy cup that Jesus drank from at the last supper, a “Holy Grail” is a term often used when referring to something that we want very much, but is very hard to find or achieve. It can seem illusive to us. Of all the things we desire most in our lives, happiness seems to be at the top of the list. So, what does it take for us to be truly happy? I know we can all relate to times in our lives where we experience fleeting happiness…for instance when we find a great deal on the purse we’ve been eyeing or get asked out on a date from a guy we’ve had a crush on, or get a compliment from someone we look up to and admire. However, deep abiding happiness is so much more than that. This type of happiness is in a completely different category. So, what exactly is this happiness and how can we find it?
My Own Journey:
I have to admit that for a great part of my life, I lived according to whatever society and my peers dictated. From the way I dressed and styled my hair to the attitudes and behaviors I adopted. I never stopped long enough to ask myself if these decisions were making me happy. One of those erroneous decisions was to turn away from my natural femininity and take on more masculine characteristics. Doing so never felt comfortable to me. In fact I hated trying to be someone I wasn’t. But I felt pressured so I kept up the charade and moved further away from my true self. I rarely looked deep inside to find out what my heart really wanted. Can you relate?
Then when I set out to write my book, Simply Feminine, I discovered from men that my femininity was something precious and nothing to be ashamed of. It opened my eyes to a truth that had long been suppressed. I felt so happy to learn this news as it resonated in my heart. Awakening to the real value of my femininity for the first time, I was finally set free to be my true self…my feminine self!
When we live by the standards of society and others, without any thought of our own beliefs or values, it causes us to live in cognitive dissonance, which creates confusion, chaos, and stress within. Living in this way is like selling our souls because it whittles away our self respect and robs us of peace of mind, not to mention that these stresses age us prematurely.
Finding True Happiness:
True happiness is an abiding feeling of inner contentment that all is right in our world. The only way we can find this happiness is by being in harmony with our authentic selves. We can only be in harmony with ourselves when we live from our heart’s truth. For me, living my true self is living from my feminine core. I’m not 100% there yet, but I’m growing in that direction. It helps if I ask myself questions like, what’s true for me right now? How am I really feeling about this situation, this person? My feminine intuition helps here. Then I have to really listen to what my heart says. The next step is to act in accordance with what’s true for me.
So, could it be that a key to the happiness that’s alluded many of us women can be found in our authentic femininity? Could it be that this timeless part of us that we’ve dismissed and discarded, is actually our Holy Grail?