In the not-so-distant past, men and women revered femininity because they understood its worth in mutual attraction, courtship, love, and marriage. Femininity was the cornerstone of a successful, functioning society, but especially since the 1960s, we’ve dishonored it.
We have confused tradition with nature. While traditions change over time, nature stays consistent for millions of years. Although we may now view femininity and masculinity as traditional social constructs, these essences are aspects of our nature. Femininity is a timeless truth that won’t disappear. Men of all ages innately understand this. Unlike fashion fads, femininity won’t go out of style. We can try to shame it away, but Mother Nature will always bring us back to what’s real.
The diminishment of femininity in recent decades has hurt men and women alike. We often hear about how women today are less happy than their mothers and grandmothers. We women have paid a high price by abandoning our true selves. The cost has been immense, especially in our love relationships with men.
As feminine women at our core, we will never feel deeply happy unless we reawaken our feminine nature, because that is where our heart lies. As long as we hide behind a mask of masculinity, we will remain unfulfilled because that’s not who we are. Men are waiting for our return.
It’s extremely important to point out that we as women need to know the difference between healthy men and unhealthy men. Unhealthy men, even though they might be truly financially successful, are for the most part highly insecure and are always looking for ways to prove themselves to the world. These are not the kind of men we want. These men are often narcissistic and will only bring us pain in the long run. They have little integrity or depth and will think nothing of lying to us or others to get what they want. Sadly, these are the types of men who seem to get all the press, while the quality men don’t get much play in the media.
Avoid Men Who
- Are highly insecure.
- Are overly jealous or possessive.
- Don’t support your passions/growth.
- Ignore you.
- Don’t adore you.
- Are hot and cold with you.
- Use or abuse you in any way.
- Are emotionally unavailable.
- Lie to you.
- Won’t commit to you.
- Don’t truly love you.
- Ask you to alter your body surgically.
- Aren’t proud to show you off.
- Are narcissistic.
- Lack clear direction and purpose.
- Are argumentative.
- Are without integrity
- Are rage-a-holics.
- Players who cheat on you.
- Cheat in business.
- Don’t care about others.
- Are “bad boys”.
- Are “Peter Pans”.
- Are passive-aggressive.
- Are manipulative.
Traits of Quality Men to Choose
- Emotionally healthy.
- Capable of loving.
- Secure in himself.
- Are available.
- Has integrity.
- Are trustworthy.
- Loves you unconditionally.
- Values who you are.
- Committed to you.
- Faithful to you.
- Loyal to you.
- Adores you.
- Supports your passion and growth.
- Are honest.
- Are giving.
- Are protective.
- Have similar values.
- Are admirable and respectable.
- Good conflict resolution skills.
- Enjoy being with you.
- Like who you are with him.
In case we need reminding, here are some of the things I learned to appreciate about men while writing my book Simply feminine…
14 Surprising Things I Learned from Men
- Men are more sensitive than we realize.
- Men rarely, if ever, gossip.
- Men won’t open up if we gossip.
- One of men’s greatest goals is to make women happy.
- Men need admiration more than they need love, or even sex.
- To men, the prettiest thing we can wear is our smile.
- Not all men are into large breasts.
- Men know what’s feminine because they are the beholders.
- Most men are touch starved today.
- Men are capable of loving more deeply than we are.
- Men need us to need them.
- Men need to impress us.
- Men don’t notice our little imperfections.
- Men see our beauty when we often don’t.
Examples of What Men Do for Us
Men have done the vast majority of the dangerous, dirty, and difficult jobs. In addition, they have fought our wars for us, and many have died.
To gain a greater appreciation of men and their masculinity, I’ve created a partial list of some of the dangerous and difficult jobs men do for the sake of keeping our society running smoothly. (Note that there are some women who perform these dangerous jobs too. However, feminine-core women rarely, if ever, have an interest in doing them.)
Dangerous, Difficult, Dirty Jobs Men Do
Armored car guard
Atomic power and chemical plant worker
Coast guard search and rescue
Farming and ranching
Fire truck driving
High rise window washers
Industrial machinery workers
Land mine detector
Logging and timber
Military duty in conflict zones
Pilots (planes and helicopters)
Power line installer
Refuge and recycling collecting (harmful chemicals, hazardous waste and dangerous machinery)
Rescue helicopter pilots
Soldiers in battle
Structural iron and steel workers
Taxi drivers/Truck drivers
Mother Nature engineered men to desire us and to feel energetically charged around us. They say they can feel this charge just by thinking about us! Nothing makes a man feel more masculine than being with a feminine woman who recognizes and acknowledges his manly qualities and gives him her nurturing, loving, soft energy. Her femininity brings extra vibrancy and life to his masculinity. But a woman who forsakes her femininity reduces her ability to energize a man, weakening the bonding force between them. Like a trellis without a vine, a man can feel his existence becoming barren, gray, and harsh without the nurturing presence of a woman in his life. It’s been observed time and time again that married men are happier and live longer than unmarried men. In other words, we are the icing on their cake, the cherry on their plain vanilla ice cream!
To learn more about what our femininity does for men and so much more, get your copy of Simply Feminine: Surprising Insights from Men HERE. You’ll be happy you did because it will change the way you see men forever!
Why don’t we know more about what men find feminine? Why haven’t men shared their opinions with us? I’ve learned men do have definite thoughts and feelings regarding femininity, including what they do and don’t like, but because they’ve been ridiculed and put down for giving their opinions, they’ve grown cautious. Men know what they like, but they often don’t know how to articulate it. Many men believe women simply don’t care about what men think.
In today’s hypersensitive political climate around gender issues, men have become careful about what they say. They might try to verbalize their ideas in a politically correct way but still offend someone. Men fear being called “sexist” or other derogatory adjectives that result in their being alienated from women. Men love and need us, which they will freely admit. Therefore, being cut off from us is the last thing they want.
Men’s ideas, opinions, and attitudes regarding femininity have been buried for so long that they might deny having any opinions at all. They need to feel safe with us before they will open up. They need to know we won’t get defensive or verbally attack them. When we ask a man if he likes a certain outfit on us and he responds in a general way with “Sure honey, you look good in everything you wear,” we can be fairly sure he’s trying not to upset us by saying the wrong thing. But the truth is, men do have preferences.