Top 5 Ways to Keep a Man’s Interest

I had a request from Dee in the Chicago area. She asked me what the top 5 ways are to keep a man’s interest and love after 20 years of marriage. Here they are:

  1. Admire him for the masculine things he does. It could be his intellect, being a good provider, his problem solving skills, his building skills or his physical strength. These are the masculine aspects men want to be admired for. For a man, admiring the way he does the laundry or vacuums the living room just doesn’t have the same value to him. Tell him you admire his ability with numbers, that he’s a wonderful father and example to your children, or that you feel safe when your in his strong arms.
  2. Be warm and affectionate with him. Men are generally touch starved more than we women realize. When men are young boys, they generally get affection from their mothers. But then they reach a certain age, it’s natural for them to pull away from their mothers and don’t have any other means of getting affection until they have a girlfriend or wife. Women, on the other hand, can also get affection from their parents, other women and children. Men don’t have all those options in our society. So, the women in their live becomes the primary source for physical touch. This also includes making love with him.
  3. Keep up your feminine looks. Men feel loved when we keep up the way we look. Take the time to be attractive when you see him. Put on some natural looking makeup and wear a cute outfit that flatters your figure in a color that looks great on you. Apply a light fragrance he likes. Let your hair grow out. It doesn’t have to cost much or take much time. Your man will notice if you make the effort. I also recommend asking your man what he’d like to see on you. Men rarely, if ever, get asked that question and they do have opinions about our appearance. They are delighted when we ask…as long as we do it in a way that doesn’t make them wrong.
  4. Show interest in his hobbies or passions. If he loves golf or football or fishing or poker, ask him what he loves most about these interests. When we show interest and really listen, men love to share what they know. They are natural teachers. You might even want to join him at a sporting event or camping trip to understand more clearly what he loves about it. Although men won’t express it, they need us to be a witness to their lives…they want us to be their closest companion and confidant. Doing so gives them a sense of meaning and purpose which has them feel more intimately connected to us.
  5. Be vulnerable with him. Perhaps one of the most powerful ways to connect with a man is by being vulnerable with him. That means telling him about your fears and feelings of inadequacy. It means letting go of pride and having the courage to be real. Sometimes just saying you feel scared is enough to break down years of barriers in your relationship. When you are vulnerable with your man, it tells him that you trust him enough to let down your guard. This automatically brings out the hero in him. His masculine nature will want to protect you and help you not to feel afraid. He will want to do anything in his power to help you feel safe, which will make him feel wonderful, because doing so will make him feel like a real man. Nothing is more connecting than that for a man.

I’d love to get your feedback on this blog. Also, let me know what other topics you would like to know about with regards to men and what they adore about us. I’d love to hear from you men too!


My Very First Blog

This is my first blog ever. After 10 years, my book Simply Feminine has finally been launched and ranked at #1 International Bestseller in two categories on Amazon. I know I should feel excited and be celebrating, but instead, I’m asking myself, what now? My life has been about this book for over a decade and now it’s done, finished, over. I feel a bit lost. Maybe what I feel is kind of an Empty Nest Syndrome. My child has left home and gone out into the big world. She no longer needs my attention and nurturing…or does she? I’ve been told I’ve just begun. Now I have to think about marketing and promotion and book signings and interviews and blogging and more. But hey, to be honest, I’m much more concerned that women get the message of this book than my popularity or rankings. So, now I ask myself, how can that be done? I don’t have any real marketing or promotional training. I’m just one feminine women!

Looking back, the journey of writing a book for me was a journey of much growth and evolution. You see, not to sound too woo woo, but in 2006 I was divinely called to write my book. When I heard the voice instructing me to write this book, I was excited and terrified all at once. I had no real writing skills. I didn’t type. I must have done a lot of daydreaming in English class, because I knew next to nothing about the rules of writing. On top of all that, I was a slow reader, so reading wasn’t high on my list either. So, how does a two-finger typist, slow reader, and unskilled writer publish a book? With a whole lot of passion for my topic, a fierce determination and a massive amount of outside help. Thankfully, there were angels who showed up just when I needed them every step of the way.

Hey, this isn’t fair!

So, when everyone told me I needed to write a blog, I resisted. I thought to myself, hey, this isn’t fair. Don’t they know that as a reluctant writer, one book was hard enough? Do you mean to tell me that I’m not done writing? Now don’t get me wrong. I love the topic of femininity from the perspective of men. I love talking with men!  I love researching and sharing what I’ve learned with other women. I just don’t love the writing part. Right now, I’m looking down at the word count. Only 410 so far. They tell me I need 500-700 words in a blog and that I need to do this often. It feels like something I could easily procrastinate because, although I’m much better at it, writing is still not my number one skill. And yet, I will do it because I passionately believe in my book’s much needed message to women on femininity. I will go deeper into the concepts I learned from men and wrote about in the book. So, bear with me if I make some grammatical errors or other mistakes. I’ll try not to let my perfectionism get in the way of my authenticity and my message.

Let me ask you, dear reader…what are some questions or comments you have around the topic of femininity from a man’s perspective? Do you have any questions from reading my book? Is there something that I didn’t cover in my book that you’d like to know more about? If so, let me know. If I don’t have the answer, I will do my best to find the answer from the world of men out there. Just think of me as the “Dear Abby of Femininity.”

Yay! I made it to over 500 words. This calls for a celebration!

Fun Free Gifts!

In the meantime, I invite you to get your Fun Free Gifts on femininity at: