by Morgan Wonderly | Femininity
Due to their naturally visual nature, men notice our outer beauty first before discovering our inner qualities. So while the inner qualities are more important than the outer appeal, if we don’t pay attention to our looks, men may not get the chance to discover our inner beauty. This does not mean men are shallow. Their biology is in charge here. In fact, science has discovered there are legitimate survival advantages to the characteristics we consider “beautiful.” For example, symmetrical facial features correlate with a stronger immune system, and a classically feminine body shape correlates with better reproductive capability. Undoubtedly there are other correlations we don’t yet know about.
Nature designed men to be attracted to women with these basic visual characteristics, which serve to help men, much as we women are served by our sense of intuition. In fairness, we would no more wish upon men the loss of their natural visual discernment than we would wish upon ourselves the loss of our natural intuitive discernment. In terms of visual qualities, as with inner qualities, what men look for in women are simple feminine basics. Ironically, many women unknowingly neglect these basics, and instead work on aspects of their appearance that matter little to men.
What men tell me they’d like to see a simple, authentic expression of our inner feminine, not some kind of display of pretended perfection. Just as we women intuitively feel a lack of trust when a man seems too perfect, so men also sense something may be too good to be true when women present themselves as too perfect.
But, when we enhance our best features by bringing focus to them, men immediately notice. For example, if our best features are our healthy hair, long legs, and big eyes, we can make them more beautiful, shapely, and alluring by putting additional emphasis on them, which also serves to downplay our less attractive features. We don’t need to be raving beauties to possess an alluring feminine image that attracts men.
If you’re in a relationship and desire to create a feminine image, ask your man what he likes. He probably won’t describe it to you, as it’s hard for him to put into words, but if you show him, he can say “yes” or “no.” When you try something on, study his face and you will know immediately. If he likes it, his eyes will light up, he will smile, and he’ll likely verbalize something akin to “Wow!” If he doesn’t deliver a similar response, he’s probably not crazy about the look. Remember, before your man will be honest with his opinion, he has to trust that you won’t get upset with him. While you’re earning his trust, use your intuition and his nonverbal cues to know whether he likes the look you’ve put together or not.
Here are some thoughts on outer beauty from a man’s perspective:
“Femininity comes in many unique forms, not just in good looks and a stylish appearance. Regardless of any quirks, if it is genuine, it will be endearing, and someone will find the whole package very attractive, flaws and all.”
– Ken, Entrepreneur, California
“As a man, I love seeing the feminine body showcased to emphasize the differences between men and women’s bodies. I like to see our differences accentuated.”
– John, Engineer, California
“Men are attracted to qualities and attributes that are strictly female. For instance, it is alluring for a woman to wear a dress, heels, lipstick, perfume, nail and toe polish, earrings and other jewelry, and to have longish hair. Believe me, men are very much aware of those things.”
– Kenny, Business Owner, California
“I will often compliment a woman who inspires me. It might be a bank teller who has beautifully manicured and polished nails, or a retail clerk with a striking hairstyle, or a woman standing in line wearing a pretty dress. I’m not hitting on them, but appreciating the effort they’ve made to be feminine. It makes me feel good to compliment them, and it makes them feel good. Which is really the point. They deserve it.”
– Randy, Retired CEO of Electronics Company, Ashland, OR
“There is a large disconnect between men and women when it comes to the subject of women’s outer appearance. We men are primarily attracted to the inner feminine qualities of women, and look for simple outer representations of them. In the meantime, women have been persuaded to hide their inner feminine qualities as being some kind of weakness, immaturity, ineffectiveness. Then, instead of showcasing the inner feminine qualities, women engage in superficial public display. In the meantime, men look for outer representations of inner beauty, and are disappointed when women have engaged in this artificial process. Women are more authentic and more pleasing to men, when they enhance their appearance based on their inner quality to men, versus assuming men to be superficial.”
– Eric, I.T. Consultant, Seattle, WA
*Excerpt from Chapter 8 of Simply Feminine: Surprising Insights from Men by Morgan Wonderly
Get your copy of Simply Feminine on Amazon Here! It will change your perceptions of men forever!
by Morgan Wonderly | Femininity
“Man’s greatest motivating force is his desire to please woman!”
-Napoleon Hill, Author of Think and Grow Rich
The Greatest Force
Here’s a surprising insight I learned from men: Men know that femininity is the greatest force on the planet. This bears repeating. Femininity is the greatest force on the planet. And yet we women have been urged to believe differently. Perhaps if we understood the immeasurable value of our femininity to men, we would never have abandoned it. Instead, we would see it as one of our greatest treasures.
Where Have All the Real Men Gone?
Women often ask, “Where have all the real men gone?” Unfortunately, as we move farther away from our femininity, masculine men move farther away from us. Femininity is like an elixir that intensifies the lifeblood of masculinity. Masculinity truly thrives under the influence of the feminine. If we want masculine men to be attracted to us, we must first be feminine for them. Another thing to note here is that men will naturally become more masculine in the presence of feminine women. In the absence of masculinity in us, they will step up to fill that role.
Letting Go of Preconceived Notions
We women tend to believe that femininity is strictly a female domain, and that only women hold the meaning to what’s feminine. After all, aren’t we the experts on this topic? Most of us have never considered men’s opinions on femininity because it seems counterintuitive; femininity in the same sentence as men appears paradoxical.
I’ve found that we have many false notions about what men find to be feminine. We develop our beliefs about femininity from our mothers, sisters, girlfriends, women’s magazines, and the media. Rarely, if ever, do we learn femininity from men. We think we already know what men find feminine, so we haven’t bothered asking them. After all, what do men know about femininity anyway? They’re just guys, right? Well, I discovered that they actually know a lot.
Whether or not they verbalize it, men know what’s feminine. They do not consciously analyze, choose, or decide what’s feminine; instead, their biology tells them. Men do know what’s feminine because they know what attracts them. Mother Nature made our femininity for their masculinity. In other words, it’s our femininity that makes a man feel masculine.
We females often have mistaken ideas of what attracts men. If we want to attract and keep quality men, we need to be willing to let go of the notion that we as women alone hold the key to our femininity. Men do have opinions on what they like and what attracts them to us. So, if we want to know what men think, we should simply ask them. They will be very happy we did!
*Excerpt from Chapter 2 of Simply Feminine: Surprising Insights from Men by Morgan Wonderly
Get your copy of Simply Feminine on Amazon Here! It will change your perceptions of men forever!
by Morgan Wonderly | Femininity
Modern society has taught women that “sexy” is the new feminine. It’s nearly impossible these days to find a woman’s magazine that doesn’t have the word “sexy” on its cover. One woman I spoke with told me that it seems today’s women have only two choices: to be a man or to be sexy. If the options in women’s clothing stores today are any indication, I would have to agree with her.
If a woman is trying to get maximum attention from men with a seductive, plunging neckline and a micro-mini skirt, it’s true that she will successfully appeal to and arouse men’s desire for sex. Men’s brains are compartmentalized. They have different compartments for seeking sex and for seeking a relationship or wife. So, when a woman is dressed in a sexy way, this appeals to men who just want sex and are not thinking beyond that.
Given these social trends, that’s why women who are seeking a long-term relationship are wise to choose a classier, more modest look over a sexy look. Men tell me that a woman who focuses on dressing sexy is not seen as feminine. In fact, dressing in such a way can even have a masculine aspect to it because she is being somewhat aggressive in an overtly suggestive way. There is nothing wrong with this arrangement, provided that’s what a woman wants. However, dressing sexy is not a good fit for a woman with a more receptive feminine energy who wants to find a man who wants a long-term relationship that can lead to marriage.
Men view a modestly yet attractively dressed woman as mysterious, interesting, and alluring. Being feminine in a modest way means leaving no question you are a woman, while leaving something to the imagination. Modest does not mean wearing shapeless, boring clothing. Accentuating our womanly curves is important to men, and it can be done in a tasteful way. We don’t need to be poured into a dress. Modest dress awakens both respect and intrigue in men. The sense of mystery it engenders makes men want to learn more about us. We are a prize to be sought after and won. Revealing too much too soon takes the mystery away. We can see ourselves as a gift that needs to be unwrapped slowly as a man proves himself to us. We don’t want to go outside already unwrapped.
Excerpt from Chapter 8 of Simply Feminine: Surprising Insights from Men by Morgan Wonderly
Get your copy of Simply Feminine on Amazon Here! It will change your perceptions of men forever!
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