We women are often blind to our own allure to men. Because the eye cannot see itself, we don’t see our beauty in the same way that men do. It’s impossible. As with beauty, both inner and outer, femininity is in the eyes of the beholder. Since men are the beholders of our femininity, wouldn’t that make them experts on the topic, and wouldn’t it benefit us to learn what femininity is from their viewpoint?
Incidentally, although men know what attracts them to us, that does not mean they know all the particulars of our beauty products and services. For example, they don’t know the specific makeup brands, shades, techniques, hair-color products, and countless other details with which we concern ourselves. However, they do know what they like when they see it and experience it.
“Femininity is something I feel when I see it, although it’s sometimes difficult to define in words. It’s an ethereal presence that at once stirs and soothes the male soul. I do know that a soft, kind smile from a woman is pretty damn feminine.” – Ken, business owner, Ventura, California
Men Hold Femininity in High Regard
One man in Lake Tahoe told me,
“If women fully realized their worth as feminine beings to men, it would completely change the way they see themselves. Their self-esteem would soar. Women would begin to value their natural femininity like never before.”
Contrary to popular stereotypes, men don’t see femininity as less valuable than masculinity. In fact, men are far more “feminine-friendly” than we are. Good men view women as different but equal to them—not inferior to them. Most men hold femininity in high regard as a strength. When we operate from our feminine energy, men adore us, honor us, and want to care for and protect us. They value and respect our femininity because nothing in the world can take its place.
A healthy man is not attracted to subservient doormats. A woman with low self-esteem has little to contribute to his life. She drains his energy while he tries to prop her up. Men don’t seek women who are mere decorations without opinions of their own. Only a highly insecure man would seek a woman with such low self-esteem, no matter her looks. Being soft and tender is not the same as being a doormat. When we offer our feminine tenderness to a man who loves us, he doesn’t think less of us—he adores us.
A masculine man wants a feminine woman who is his valued counterpart, not a bimbo or a pushover. Nor is he looking for his gender twin—a masculine woman. He wants a woman who will complement his masculinity with her femininity.
Although these qualities of softness and tenderness may seem insignificant to us because they are natural and effortless for us, they are precious to a man. Our feminine softness proves valuable because it soothes his soul and contributes to his sense of well-being. Our femininity makes a man feel masculine, and his masculinity restores his energy. Without a feminine woman in his life, a man often lacks inspiration and may settle for an unheroic life.
Think back to a time when you saw a feminine woman’s influence over a man. Perhaps it was a gentle, petite woman who calmed her gruff man (who was twice her size) simply with her soft tone and tender touch. It seems illogical, but the female’s tenderness works like magic on men … and they love it.
Excerpt from Chapter 2 of Simply Feminine, Surprising Insights from Men by Morgan Wonderly
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