“Enlightened or not, you are either a man or a woman, so on the level of your form identity you are not complete. You are one-half of the whole. This incompleteness is felt as male-female attraction, the pull towards the opposite energy polarity, no matter how conscious you are.”

– Eckhart Tolle, author of The Power of Now


The Importance of Polarity


For the sake of love between men and women, we need to restore masculine and feminine polarity. Just as opposite poles of magnets irresistibly pull together, gender polarity creates a powerful, dynamic sexual attraction when the opposite poles of masculine and feminine come into proximity. The experience we women have when we feel a weak-in-the-knees urge to swoon around a man with potent masculine energy exemplifies the power of this magnetic polarity. Its power is so great we sometimes feel helpless to its beckoning.


We may see couples with a connection so strong, we wonder, “What’s their secret?” Most likely that secret is their polarity; their strongly contrasting masculine/feminine energies. Polarity is what creates the inner fire that enlivens us when we encounter our counterpart. Polarity is what makes us feel “crazy” about each other and inspires us to great heights. When we take our femininity away from relationships, we take away polarity.


The differences between men and women create a sexual tension that draws us powerfully toward each other. The interplay between the masculine and feminine balances us when we unite. Feminine attributes are complemented and enhanced by masculine attributes. Contrasts between masculine and feminine can create immense value for us because where one gender lacks a strength, the other is likely stronger.


As a metaphor, observe the yin-yang symbol representing complementary essences. One side is black and the other is white. Both are equal in size and value. There is no inferior or superior. Each side has a smaller circle in it with the opposite energy. Similarly, when united, the feminine and masculine principles are complementary yet equal, forming a whole greater than the sum of its parts.


So, why should differences between men and women be seen as problematic? Men realize that feminine women complement them. I found they freely admit that a feminine woman is of great value to them because they feel most masculine in her presence. As she admires and appreciates her man, he wants to further impress her to win even more of her admiration. Thus, her admiration fuels his desire to provide for her and protect her. It’s a positive feedback loop that not only bonds the two together, but also makes both genders feel happy and fulfilled.


  1. In what specific ways have you noticed the genders blurring, if any?
  2. What does gender polarity mean to you?
  3. Why do you think we have stopped celebrating the inherent differences between men and women?

Learn more on this topic in my book at Amazon…Simply Feminine: Surprising Insights from Men. Praised and Endorsed by John Gray of Men Are from Mars, Women are from Venus”.