Modern society has taught women that “sexy” is the new feminine. It’s nearly impossible these days to find a woman’s magazine that doesn’t have the word “sexy” on its cover. One woman I spoke with told me that it seems today’s women have only two choices: to be a man or to be sexy. If the options in women’s clothing stores today are any indication, I would have to agree with her.

If a woman is trying to get maximum attention from men with a seductive, plunging neckline and a micro-mini skirt, it’s true that she will successfully appeal to and arouse men’s desire for sex. Men’s brains are compartmentalized. They have different compartments for seeking sex and for seeking a relationship or wife. So, when a woman is dressed in a sexy way, this appeals to men who just want sex and are not thinking beyond that.

Given these social trends, that’s why women who are seeking a long-term relationship are wise to choose a classier, more modest look over a sexy look. Men tell me that a woman who focuses on dressing sexy is not seen as feminine. In fact, dressing in such a way can even have a masculine aspect to it because she is being somewhat aggressive in an overtly suggestive way. There is nothing wrong with this arrangement, provided that’s what a woman wants. However, dressing sexy is not a good fit for a woman with a more receptive feminine energy who wants to find a man who wants a long-term relationship that can lead to marriage.

Men view a modestly yet attractively dressed woman as mysterious, interesting, and alluring. Being feminine in a modest way means leaving no question you are a woman, while leaving something to the imagination. Modest does not mean wearing shapeless, boring clothing. Accentuating our womanly curves is important to men, and it can be done in a tasteful way. We don’t need to be poured into a dress. Modest dress awakens both respect and intrigue in men. The sense of mystery it engenders makes men want to learn more about us. We are a prize to be sought after and won. Revealing too much too soon takes the mystery away. We can see ourselves as a gift that needs to be unwrapped slowly as a man proves himself to us. We don’t want to go outside already unwrapped.

Excerpt from Chapter 8 of Simply Feminine: Surprising Insights from Men by Morgan Wonderly
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